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(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

An "Oh, Sweetie" of photographic proportions. [20 May 2009|12:06pm]

redheaded_itch
Most of you might not get how dumb this really is, but hopefully you can all share in the facepalming.

While working yesterday at the photo/camera store, my co-worker served a gentleman in his 70s. He pulled out a digital camera and seemed very concerned. Said co-worker assumed that the gentleman had broken his camera or that something wasn't working right. It's usually something very simple; most of the older people we deal with still call memory cards "fillums", and don't know how to use a computer.

After a minute or two the man put the camera back in his jacket pocket and walked out. My co-worker turned to me, baffled, and explained what the man had wanted.

The gentleman had wanted to know if he needed to wind his digital camera by hand after taking a photo or if the "fillum" would automatically advance to the next picture. My poor co-worker simply told him it would automatically advance, rather than explain digital technology to him.

*Sigh*

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

The geographically uninclined. [10 Dec 2007|12:15am]

redheaded_itch
So nobody has updated this community in a long long time, and I know there's some prime stupid we're missing out on! Get it together, people!

In addition to Stephanie always talking about her friend Toa (from Thailand) as her "Asian friend" instead of talking about him by name, she apparently does not know what makes up the United States.

A few weeks ago...

STEPH: Is Mexico in America?
ME: *stares*
STEPH: No really. Is it?

I seem to stare at her a lot. For example...

STEPH: *typing* Is "of course" all one word?
ME: *stare*
STEPH: Is it?
ME: *shakes head and goes back to computering*
STEPH: Mum, is "of course" all one word?
MUM: Urm, yes--
ME: No! "Of course" is two separate words.
STEPH/MUM: Oh.
STEPH: Well I didn't know!

I thought we all knew better than to ask my Mum for spelling help. I mean I love her and all, but the woman can't spell.

(1 oh sweetie | Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Punctuation... punctuality... they both start with punc! [05 Dec 2006|05:36pm]

caroline31
[ mood | Silly me! ]

So, I just read Kerrin's entry, and that reminded me that I have not posted a prime Caroline Moment I had a few days ago:

Me, on the phone with my Mom, complaining about my skating dance partner: And we can't practice, Mom, because she's always so late for practice. The girl has a serious punctuation problem!

And in prime Caroline fashion, it took me a good ten seconds to understand why my mom was laughing so hard.

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Just now, from Eddie in the kitchen... [05 Dec 2006|06:19pm]

redheaded_itch
"Did you know that male praying mantises can't accumulate with their heads still attached?"

I just stared at him for a second before saying, "I think you mean 'copulate', Ed."

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Chickens do what now? [17 Oct 2006|09:35pm]

redheaded_itch
So I was making egg salad in the kitchen for Mum's lunch tomorrow. She likes my way better. Stephanie was in there, watching me for some reason. Anyway, this came out of her mouth...

STEPH: How do they get the baby chickens out?
ME: *thinking I heard her wrong* What?
STEPH: The baby chickens. How do they get them out of the eggs?
ME: They don't get them out. They peck their way through the shell from the inside.
STEPH: No, Ellen told me that people check eggs for baby chickens. How do they get them all out of the eggs?
ME: *realisation dawns* O_O ...Steph, the laying females are never kept around the males. The eggs never get fertilised. Sure, there may be some odd freak of nature that you find a partially formed chick in one, but that's rare. The actual eggs that we eat have never had baby chicks in them.
STEPH: Ohh! I never knew that before! That's so cool!

And to think, I'm related to this girl.

(1 oh sweetie | Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

[24 Sep 2006|08:58pm]

caroline31
[ mood | Ohhh, Calandra... ]

Well, after lo, these many months, I finally remembered to post a few Caroline moments I've had or heard lately.

The first is Chapter 1000 in my continual struggle with our coffee maker. How many mistakes can you make with a coffee maker, you may be wondering? Well, time will tell.

Yesterday, I put the coffee grinds in the one compartment, and Renee told me to fill the pot with water up to the 4. So, I did. And then left it. Don't ask me why I thought this would work, but after about 15 minutes, I noticed it was smoking, and the water had not magically turned into coffee like I'd somehow thought it would. And then Renee, as she always does, came along and told me you have to pour the water into the coffee maker. Who knew?

The next one was actually Calandra's. She was in Starbucks, and a guy came along, and said, "Hey, I think you're pretty cute." And Calandra thought he was cute, too, and, trying to be flirty, replied, "Well, that makes two of us!" The guy just looked at her funny and walked away. Then she realized how she'd sounded and went "No, wait! I meant.... Oh, never mind."

And that, friends, is the day Calandra realized that she really can't flirt.

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Ah, the joys of working at a deli. [22 Apr 2006|10:48pm]

ishyface
[ mood | working on a paper. ]

Random girl at the counter: Okay, sooooo... I gotta ask. What's the difference between turkey and chicken?

Speaks for itself, I think.

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Ahhhh, Renee... [12 Apr 2006|12:17am]

caroline31
[ mood | Giggle ]

So, I think we need to revamp carolinemoments, people! I am taking it upon myself. With my soul sista, Renee.

So Renee was at an info session for Mount A with her friend Stephen, who's going there next year. The info people were trying to emphasize how small it is, and said how excited they were that they got a Subway recently.

Renee: A subway? Wow, Halifax doesn't even have a subway!

Stephen: Ummm, I think they mean the restaurant, Renee.

Renee: Oh.

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Well I thought it was funny... [21 Dec 2005|09:43pm]

redheaded_itch
[ mood | exanimate ]

I worked with Ashley, a girl a little older than me, on Monday night. It was about 8PM and she was in the back (where it is loud, on account of the Slushie Machine of Death), and this guy named Gary came in. He was going on to her about how she complained too much when they started talking. Poor Ashley could hardly make out a word Gary said to her. Then this:

GARY: You oughta become a prosecutor, you ask too many questions!
ASHLEY: I already am a prostitute!
ME: No, he said "prosecutor"!!
ASHLEY: Ohhh...


Also, an example of how my brain works after-hours.

Tired!Me: I wonder what would have happened if Pocahontas was able to drive...
Logic!Me: I expect she'd be just as bad at it as everyone else.
Tired!Me: How d'you figure??
Logic!Me: 'Cause they didn't have cars then, stupid!

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Because I really should be recopying notes and studying for a test and an exam and making things... [03 Dec 2005|09:44pm]

redheaded_itch
[ mood | tired ]

Instead, I give you

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-comm="carolinemoments">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Instead, I give you <lj-comm="carolinemoments"> icons.

<a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v696/sandwicharchives2/dearmelissa.gif">Dear Melissa Van Der Voort...</a>

<a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v696/sandwicharchives2/chlanydia.gif">Got Chlamydia?</a>

It now occurs to me that I've misspelled the community's name in both of those and that I didn't save a layered copy. Oh well. These icons were about 100/140 layers before I .gif compressed them. Woo!

Now verily I shall go and do my work.

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

[22 Nov 2005|10:53am]

beiderbecke
last year's hannukah:
me: i wouldn't mind living in the 1920s - no cellphones, no television.
cousin: yeah, but if you lived in the 1920s, there'd be no internet.
me: so?
cousin: so, you wouldn't be able to use ebay to buy your '20s dresses.


from "history's explorers" on the history channel:
"...the aztec leader was montezuma II was descended from another important montezuma."

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Not once. But twice. [05 Nov 2005|02:30am]

caroline31
[ mood | My face has stuck like this. ]

A question to those of you who know me: Why do you even hang around with me? Like are you not incredibly humiliated just to be seen with me. Since I clearly cannot function in society?

Here's a bit of background: We're playing this game on our floor, "STD Gotcha." I guess it's to promote safe sex. But we all got names of someone on our floor, and condoms. We have to tag that person, and someone is also trying to tag us. If we don't have our condoms and we're tagged, we get an "STD." So tonight Emma came to my door and went, "Caroline, you have chlamydia!" So I was out.

Tonight Vicky was like, "So, Calandra, gotten any STDs lately?"

And I didn't even think, I just opened up my mouth and said, "I did, I got chlamydia!" I swear, it echoed. And these two guys (NOT CBG, thank God!!) by the elevator were just like, buhhhh??? One was on our floor, so I hope to God he understood what I meant. I was way too embarrassed, I didn't know, should I explain myself, or what? So I just blushed and wished, yet again, for the floor to swallow me up.

I think the solution here is since I clearly cannot think before I speak, that I just go back to not talking. I tried to make the transition from being the girl who never talks to actually saying things. But I think I'm just gonna go back to being quiet. It always turns out badly.

Is it too late to pretend to be a deaf mute?

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

OK, ladies n gents, it's official: I should never be allowed around people. [04 Nov 2005|11:03pm]

caroline31
[ mood | My face is in perma-blush. ]

Some time has passed. I can write about it now without dying of embarrassment.

CBG. Cute British Guy. Nuff said.

So, I was going down in the elevator with Calandra to do my laundry, talking about how we're gonna watch Dirty Dancing tonight.

Me: I downloaded both of them.

*Elevator door opens.*

Me: We should have a Dirty Dancing marathon!

Then CBG gives me the weirdest look. So I turned on my heel and walked in the other direction, feeling like my face was on fire.

Calandra: Caroline, that's Oasis. The laundry room's this way.

Then I turned around and CBG was holding the door for me. So I scraped my pride up off the floor and said, "Thank you." Then followed him.

Calandra: Caroline. This way.

So I turned, composed myself, ran into the laundry room, and wailed about how this is why I should not be let out of my room!!!

Now I'm hiding out. WHY IS IT ALWAYS HIM???

(Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Caroline discovers the wonderful world of time zones! [23 Oct 2005|07:03pm]

caroline31
[ mood | Ah, I amuse me... ]

So here I am, trying to book my flight home for Christmas, looking up flight times. I find one, and try to describe it on lj...

So my exam gets over at 4, I leave Carleton by 4:30, My flight doesn't leave until 6:55, so I've got lots of time in case there are unforeseen circumstances. Then my plane lands in Montreal for a 50-minute layover at 7:40, takes off again at 8:30, and lands in Halifax at 10:58. And I'm home by midnight.

Wait, why does it take 2 1/2 hours all of a sudden to get from Montreal to Halifax? Considering when I flew here it took an hour and a half from Halifax to Ottawa with no stops??

Whatever, I don't care. The point is, it only costs $486 round trip. I'd fly out again on January 3rd at 5, layover in Montreal again, back to Carleton by 7:30, wait how does that work, it says 3 hour----

OMG THERE'S A TIME CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!

Riiight, Ottawa's an hour behind Halifax, it all becomes clear all of a sudden.....


Yeah. We only learned about time zones in like Grade Two, right?

(2 oh sweeties | Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

[19 Oct 2005|12:30am]

ishyface
[ mood | *snigger* ]

In English today we were reading a short story by Alistair MacLeod and doing an analysis.
It apparently confused people. Among them was Katherine Quereshi, who- it must be said- is too stupid to microwave a Pizza Pocket.

Katherine, whining: Ms. Alford, I don't get it! What's present tense mean?
Ms. Alford, mentally headdesking: It means that he's writing it as it's happening.
Katherine, baffled: So... like, he was carrying a book around and writing stuff down all the time?

Yes, Katherine. You hit the nail on the head. Now hit your own.

(2 oh sweeties | Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

[06 Oct 2005|08:23am]

ishyface
[ mood | bouncy ]

So 'Ten, Ryan, and I were hanging out in the lounge the other day when Joey and some stupid guy (who'd just asked Joey if "things rhyme in Lebanese", if that gives you any clue) came in to sit with us. Ryan was playing music, and the Rolling Stones came on.

Me: *makes face* Ugh. I hate the Rolling Stones.
Stupid Guy, indignant: You can't hate the Rolling Stones! They invented rock and roll, man!
Me: So what? You can be into psychology and still think Freud was full of bullshit.
Stupid Guy, blinking: ... Freud? Like... Sigfried and Freud?

And then I shot laser beams out of my eyes and killed him. The end!

(1 oh sweetie | Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Renee, have I told you lately that I love you? [26 Sep 2005|06:28pm]

caroline31
[ mood | Ah the tender loving stupid... ]

So, for those of you who did not see my last post, here's a recap:

I wrote that I needed to find a library soon. And also a piano. And Renee comments: "Ummm...I don't think many libraries have pianos."

I laughed so hard I died a little. It's made even funnier because I can hear her saying it in my head. Try it. I guarantee it'll make you laugh.

(1 oh sweetie | Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

Oh.My.Gawd. [24 Sep 2005|06:48pm]

mondelias
[ mood | Gwenfacemeetpalm ]

Okay, Gwen and I are working together, and Gwen, Colin, Alex and I are using headsets to have disturbing conversations. I don't know how the conversation went, because I was running an order, but Gwen said something, and then Alex responded with "She's a saint!" And then, Gwen:

"Wait! There are female saints?"

She caught on fairly quickly, though, because suddenly she turned to me. "Please don't put that in Caroline Moments."

So I did. :P

(1 oh sweetie | Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

[15 Sep 2005|10:52pm]

ishyface
We're doing The Great Gatsby in English.
Today, by a stroke of sheer bad luck, I had the privelage of sitting next to the Hairspray Queens.

Ms. Alford: Where is the novel set?
Noah: Long Island Sound.
Hairspray Queen #1, twirling hair: Huh?
Alford: *audible sigh* LONG ISLAND.
Hairspray Queen #2, puzzled: So... like, there isn't any sound?

(1 oh sweetie | Isn't that where Jesus was born?)

bipedal [15 Sep 2005|09:17pm]

jilly_ma_bean
[ mood | amused ]

So I was on my lunch break and over heard this conversation:
Girl: man I don’t know why I’m crying, I think I’m bipedal*
Girl2: what does that mean?
G1: bipedal, you no my emotions change from one extreme to the other
G2: oh, ok maybe you should go to the doctor.

I can just imagine the conversation in my head “doctor I think I’m bipedal” “ah, yea you are”

* Just in cause you don’t know what bipedal means, it means you walk on 2 feet.

ok so for some werid reason this posted on my jouranl and not carolinemoments, but oh well here we go again.

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